3 Lessons to Take Away from the New Netflix Sensation Sex/Life
It’s been almost a month since Sex/Life was released on Netflix and we’re still talking about it. The question of whether or not the person who provides you with a family and a sense of security can give you mind blowing orgasms has become normal brunch chat. Mostly because the phenomenon that is the love triangle between Billie (Sarah Shahi), her husband Cooper (Mike Vogel) and her ex boyfriend Brad Simon (Adam Demos) has turned us on and gotten us to question our own sex lives.
For those of you who haven’t seen the show, Sex/Life centers around a suburban housewife, four months postpartum, who is bored with her current sex life. She begins fantasizing about the free and uninhibited sex she used to have with her ex and journals about it. Her husband reads her journal and even though he’s intimidated, (see Episode: 3 20 minutes in and thank us later) he tries to find ways to fulfill her sexual appetite, and she’s not into it.
This brings us back to the question about whether or not the same person who provides for you emotionally and financially can fulfill your deepest sexual desires. VSPOT Experts say Yes and here’s why…
You are in charge of your sexual pleasure!
We’ll say it again for dramatic effect.
You and only you are in charge of your sexual pleasure!
Throughout the 8 episode arc, we watch Billie grapple with the decision of settling for what feels right or running toward what makes her feel alive. She makes a ton of bad decisions along the way, but there are also some important lessons our new favorite NSFW Netflix series has reminded us.
1. Our partner can’t be responsible for our sexual satisfaction.
Billie knew she needed more and she tried not to put that pressure on her husband. The mistake that she made was not communicating her desires from the very beginning. Taking it into your own hands is only a power move if you’re not hurting the people you care about.
Every sex therapist from Sex with Emily to Rachael Wright will preach “communication is key to a healthy relationship”. If this is such common knowledge, then why is it so hard to do? VSPOT Expert Dr. Grover says “It’s hard for people sometimes to be in touch with their sexual side.”
A lot of times, we as women struggle with getting to know ourselves and our bodies and can put the pressure on our partner fulfill us.It can be hard to pinpoint what part of our sexual life isn’t being fulfilled and even harder articulating it to our partner but having open discussions is the only way to get over this hurdle.
Jen Michelle, certified love and relationship coach, is a big advocate for relaying our deepest desires to our partners. She wrote in a blog post for elephant journal, “When we start truly owning what it is we desire and start moving toward it without putting it on our partner, they’re inspired to support us in an entirely different way ” and we at VSPOT couldn’t agree more.
2. If you need help, get it.
When Billie was struggling, she sought help from her best friend but also from a therapist she trusted. Admitting you need help is hard but asking for professional help is harder. Sexual satisfaction is your right as a woman and you owe it to yourself to have the best sex you can have.
We know that’s easier said than done and that’s why a place that caters to Vulvas and all their glory is necessary. At VSPOT all conversations are welcome. If you have trouble orgasming tell us. If the sex is painful or dry, tell us. If the sex is great tell us, and we’ll help make it fantastic. Having a professional to talk to can make all the difference. VSPOT has non surgical treatments for all things vulva.
Sometimes you need a little help from science and medicine and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Our double board certified gynecologists and experienced PA’s can help with all of your intimate health needs. From the trending med-spa party Kegel Throne to the bio hacking O-Shot, VSPOT has the newest and most innovative technology so that you can keep having the best sex of your life, regardless of your partner.
3. Expose your true self.
No one is saying you have to put it all out there on the first date. But if Billie was more honest with herself and her partner about what she needed to be happy, she might have known Brad was not the one.
We should never allow our feelings of wanting to be loved and cared for scare us into hiding who we really are. Let your inner-freak out and the person that is right for you will show themself.